Sunday, January 15, 2012

Hell On Wheels - A Bohannan Scorned

Choose hate.
These two simple words from Reverend Cole were all that Cullen Bohannan needed to rationalize the trail of bodies he's left behind over the course of ten episodes. Hell On Wheels has traveled a rocky road since its inception over two months ago, but 'God Of Chaos' made us realize that the journey was worth it!

Ever since Sgt. Harper gave him the slip six episodes ago, Bohannan has given us the illusion that his thirst for vengeance has been enveloped by a new sense of purpose. This purpose being the construction of the Transcontinental Railroad and the goings on at Hell On Wheels. It was only a matter of time before all that apparently pent up rage would reveal itself, and it did so in the most rabid and aggressive fashion. Cullen finally caught up with the final piece of his puzzle, Sgt. Harper. But as it turns out, Harper was innocent, and in a sense I think Cullen knew it as well. But vengeance is indeed blind, and I don't think it has been portrayed better on any other show.

After Reverend Cole transformed into the Hulk last week, Cullen decided to pay the Reverend a visit to try and shed some light on where his own morality stands. The fact that the Reverend was in the process of hiding the beheaded remains of Griggs at the time kind of defeated the whole purpose, but Cullen didn't know that! Cole's twisted advice for Bohannan was probably the final push he needed to go off the deep end, or maybe he just needed an excuse to justify the path he has already chosen. Now that Cullen is an outlaw on the run, it's a little puzzling to try and speculate where the show goes from here.

We all know how the series of events in this episode began. The Swede has been botching up his own plans for a while now. If there was any actual justice seen in this episode, it was when we saw the feather covered Swede running away from an angry mob of merchants and workers spearheaded by the McGinnes brothers. The Swede has 'shed' all his awesomeness for the time being! At least we'll see him again in season two (we will, won't we??)

Durant was completely focused on Lily this entire episode. Lily and Cullen's obvious chemistry could be seen for miles, and Durant tried and failed multiple times to charm his way into Lily's line of sight, literally! Did you notice the two during the dance? Lily could have been dancing with an oversized potato and it wouldn't have made a difference.

Hell On Wheels is an abundant source of flawed individuals. But in the end, Elam 'Fathead' Ferguson turned out to be the biggest dick of them all. His conversation with Psalms made it clear that money and power can indeed change the best of us. Now, with no Bohannan to back him up (who has problems of his own) and no Eva, Elam has also become the biggest loser of season one.


- Hats off to the Gayton brothers for giving us this brilliant show. Thanks, dudes!
- The conversation between Durant and The Swede was hilarious. Especially the part about The Swede's wife stealing his 'kewkew' clock!
- What's up with Reverend Cole's hair? It seemed to be in the process of flying south for the winter.

This was an unfairly short season, and I honestly believe this show still hasn't been given a proper chance to fully extend itself. Nevertheless, there's always season two.
The Bohannanator will be back!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Supernatural - Sweet Merciful Awesome!

Are you still reeling from Bobby's death? I know I am. But in the Supernatural universe, the bad guys (whether they're ghosts, demons, angels, leviathans, or even gods) don't wait around for anyone. It was business as usual for Sam and Dean this week. And this episode had enough juice to confirm that our boys have got their rhythm back!

It has almost become second nature for the brothers to resolve life threatening situations by the seat of their pants. But it's been a while since we've seen them work a case with the same Gung-Ho obstinacy they are so well known for. 'Time After Time After Time' was a one-off episode that re-established their groove and now it's safe to say Sam and Dean can start cracking some Leviathan skulls, or at the very least, pour borax down their throats.

Let's face it. The majority of the angels and gods that Sam and Dean have encountered so far have been dicks. In tonight's episode, the boys found themselves on the trail of Chronos, the God Of Time (played by Veronica Mars' Jason Dohring) who's been killing people in groups of three to fuel his ability to travel back in time to 1944, to be with the woman he loves. While Chronos was in the process of sucking the life force (which is apparently red in color. Who knew??) out of some unfortunate goop, Dean speared the unsuspecting god, sending them both back to 1944.

I love what the writers did with this episode! Dean's first meeting with Eliot Ness was awesome. The revelation that Ness himself was a hunter just made it all gel together brilliantly. It didn't take long for Dean to immerse himself into the 1940s. He almost seemed comfortable there! For the short time they worked together, Dean and Ness made quite the team. I know it's a long shot, but wouldn't it be cool for Eliot Ness to make another appearance on the show? I just think he'd make a nice addition to the cast.
I can dream can't I??

Another interesting aspect about tonight's episode was the banter between Sheriff Mills and Sam. Within a short span of time, the two seemed to be getting along like clockwork. With Bobby's death still fresh in their minds, the Winchester boys need some serious backup. The presence of a motherly figure like Jody Mills to help the boys is a sound move. I hope she sticks around for a while and this isn't just a short term thing. Her genuine affection for the two is obvious.

In typical Winchester style, Chronos was dealt with thanks to some perfect timing on both sides. I was a little puzzled that the God Of Time would go down so easily. I don't know, for some reason I thought Chronos would be a bigger, more powerful God than the one portrayed. How do you distinguish which God is powerful than the others? Chronos seemed to be less of a threat than many of the demons the boys have encountered.

Anyway, before his death, he did have a spine-chilling message for the boys, or so he thought. I mean honestly guys, Bobby's dead. I don't think Sam or Dean give a rat's ass what the future is supposed to be. The Winchesters have both literally been to hell and back. The future doesn't stand a chance.
Bring on the Leviathans!


- Dean's awesome streak continued with this episode. How hilarious was it to see all his "The Untouchables" references shot down??
- I thought Eliot's short speech for Dean was just the push he needed to snap out of his current state of mind and be focused on kicking some Leviathan ass! I know he appeared to be focused before, but there's a niggle somewhere that Dean needs to fix.
- I know Crowley promised to steer clear of the Winchesters, but seriously, what do demons do if they're not causing horror and devastation? It must get boring being cooped up in hell, with no one to terrorize.
- It's about time the boys figured out a concrete way to downright kill a Leviathan. Borax in itself seems to cripple them at best. Borax bullets maybe?? A borax bomb??

To quote Eliot Ness, it's time to punch the red tape with a silver bullet.
Things are about to get ugly. I can't wait!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Person Of Interest - The Boys Are Back In Town

After an agonizing 27 day wait, Person Of Interest returned to Thursday nights this week. And wouldn't you know it? Like a well-oiled machine that has received a major upgrade, it returned and delivered an absolutely flawless episode. Finch and Reese are back, dudes! What could be more awesome?? Well, maybe the fact that this episode was called "Super", which is exactly what it was!

The mid-season finale left us with the feeling that as far as this show is concerned, the best is yet to come. When we last saw the battle-wounded Reese, he was being driven away by Finch to safety. Of course, we knew he would survive. This is John Reese! Genetically modified mutant gorilla ninjas don't stand a chance against this guy. Turns out Finch had the perfect surgeon in mind to patch Reese up, an Iraqi doctor with a serious cash flow problem, who just happened to be the best surgeon in Najaf back in the day. The awesome factor multiplied threefold when I watched Finch plop the bundles of cash on the dissection table! And it was only too obvious to notice that the surgeon was the same guy from Homeland. You know, the Saudi diplomat. You now, the yummy-yummy-yummy-yummy guy. You know, the guy who said, I suck--well I can't say it, but you know who he is!

Despite Reese's condition, the Machine, apparently indifferent to their situation (Finch forgot to insert the tactfulness program into the damn thing) spit out yet another number for our heroes to worry about. This time, our POI was the super of a building where Reese just 'happened' to be hiding from the CIA (I'll get to those dicks in a minute). It didn't take long for Finch and Reese to discover that the super, Trask (Dexter's David Zayas. Another awesome guest star!! The awesome factor just multiplied tenfold!), keeps a closer than needed eye on the residents.

With Reese confined to his wheelchair (when I say wheelchair, I mean a potentially deadly weapon), it was up to Finch to play 'field agent' for a change. Well, at least he tried. I found it quite humorous to see Finch completely out of his depth! But it also gave us an insight into how seriously he considers their work to be. "The Machine waits for no man". That statement is almost as cool as "Winter Is Coming".

After discovering photos of one of the residents (a ridiculously sexy chef) in Trask's apartment, combined with the knowledge that he could have recently purchased a weapon, the duo came to the logical conclusion that he was a stalker on the verge of making his move. The fact that Finch discovered hidden cameras in the girl's apartment reinforced the theory. However, POI usually pulls a different colored rabbit out of the same hat every week, so it was safe to say there was more to this than meets the eye.

I have to be honest. I figured out that the boyfriend (who wasn't her boyfriend after all) was the stalker five minutes before Finch and Reese did. I attributed Trask's infatuation with sexy chef lady to him being her Dad or something. Regardless of the facts, another case solved, another POI squared away. But as always, the most interesting part of the episode was running in the background. Actually there were a couple of interesting parts.

Although we're now fairly clear where Carter's allegiances lie, I'm a little disappointed Finch had a comfortable face-to-face with Carter this early in the show. I would have preferred if the meeting had occurred a few episodes later, with Carter and Finch (or Reese) still exchanging phone conversations with mutual respect on either side of the line, until then. That being said, it was absolutely brilliant the way Finch made her realize exactly what they do and how they go about doing it. So is Carter an official member of the coolest posse on the planet?? Or are there still trust issues to be resolved?

I was delighted to see more flashbacks in this episode, since I believe Finch's past is the most intriguing part of this show. Although I'm not sure they added anything new to what we already know (except maybe Ingram's first name, Nathan), Finch's in-depth explanation about how the Machine pieces together bits (or as he put it perfectly "the thinnest thread") of information to pinpoint the next relevant number was an absolutely intense and dazzling scene! Let me reiterate, MICHAEL EMERSON IS RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME!

Meanwhile, it seems that for now, Reese has got the CIA (Clowns In need of Asswhooping) temporarily off his back thanks to a little help from Fusco. I don't know about you guys, but another showdown between Snow and Reese cannot come soon enough! Snow and Evans (the guy who shot Reese) need to go. A pissed off Reese is like Vesuvius on crack, although he may not show it. Those CIA dudes have some retribution heading in their direction which I think I'm going to enjoy.


- Imagine being shot twice by a CIA sharpshooter, almost dying, and then being operated upon by an unlicensed surgeon in a morgue. That's Reese's definition of a rough night.
- Reese kicked the stalker dude's ass. Then he threw him out of a window. You would probably think that was Reese being Reese right? But a Reese IN CRUTCHES kicking the bleeding hell out of the guy was just awesome television. John Reese is TV's biggest badass. Period.
- Finch had some awesome lines tonight, my favorite one being "This may be the best catered stakeout in history". Genius!
- Fusco has become quite the trooper over the last couple of episodes. We didn't see much of him tonight, but me thinks Reese should start to cut him some slack from now on.
- I also loved Reese's definition of traveling 'light'. Someone should start a John Reese dictionary!
- What did happen in Ordos?? If I remember correctly, Ordos is a desert in China. Color me intrigued!
- POI has established itself as a utopia for brilliant guest stars. Tonight's episode had David Zayas and Ramsey Faragallah (Mr Yummy-yummy-yummy-yummy).
Who do you want next??

Person Of Interest won The People's Choice Award for Favorite New TV Drama! The world is finally starting to make sense!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Work It - Eeeyagh!!

I know it's unfair to shower criticism on an unaired show. With the amount of flack 'Work It' has been receiving, plus the obviously moronic premise we were aware of beforehand, we expected it to be bad. But now that I've actually watched the damn thing on ABC, I can confidently say that there is no satisfying amount of manure on this planet that can be flung in the direction of this show with a sense of justice.

Against my better judgment, I tried to watch this show with an open mind. I held it together for about five minutes before I just couldn't take it anymore! My neighbors could probably hear the barrage of eloquently executed profanities I was directing at my TV screen. Ye Gads, it was horrible! Ugh!

How did this massive pile of human excrement (that they call a show) pass the approval process?? It boggles the mind to think that this show received the green light, and that the executives at ABC thought their viewers deserved to have this kind of rubbish grace their TV screens.
I'm not gonna hold back tonight, folks. This show seriously pissed me off!

The story is simple enough. Two unemployed dudes decide to dress up as women to land jobs as pharmaceutical reps, since men have apparently no place in these companies anymore. Why?? Because the doctors prefer to deal with females, for obvious reasons, or at least that's the explanation they gave in this idiotic show (as a medical student myself I was personally offended, but that's beside the point).

The cast (at least on paper) represented a mixed bag of talent. It was more than sad to see prestigious alumni of brilliant shows like Prison Break and Lost (represented by Amaury Nolasco and Rebecca Mader respectively) to stoop to such a level of incompetence. How desperate were they to actually agree to be part of all this?? The protagonist (some guy called Benjamin Koldyke) was as douchey as was humanly possible in 22 minutes.
I know that when it comes to sitcoms, there isn't a whole lot of emphasis on realism, but seriously these two guys are trying to pass themselves off as women! Lee Standish is not a very good looking guy to begin with (no offense, dude), but he became an exceptionally ugly woman. Angel kind of pulled it off but, wait...I'm actually trying to rationalize this crap! This show has ruined my evening. I need some air.

Even if we remove the extreme bias we feel towards this show out of the equation, it still wasn't bloody funny! None of the characters were. I found Brian (John Caparulo) to be exceptionally irritating and his voice made me want to take a baseball bat to his face.

ABC has a respectable list of shows to its credit. I hope to God they don't let this monstrosity go any further. A whole new level of suckiness has been unearthed and I plan to stay away from it.


- Ever seen an Uwe Boll movie?? This show was reminiscent of the cringy feeling you get while watching one of his movies, with the perpetual 'WTF' look on your face.
- All the actors were seriously bad in this show. They were so bad I have nail marks on my forehead after burying my head in my hands multiple times.
- I can't believe I'm saying this, but after tonight's crapfest, I miss 'Man Up'!

Remember last year when Terra Nova used to be called a bad show?? What do you think now??

Monday, January 2, 2012

Hell On Wheels - You've Just Been Bohannaned!

Happy New Year, Guys!
After a dry week of television, it's time to get back on the horse. And New Year's Day provided the best show to do so. Hell On Wheels was back this week after a two week hiatus and it did not disappoint (not that it ever has).

With Cullen and Elam doing their Lone Ranger routine elsewhere, Durant and Lily were on their way back to Hell On Wheels when the train they were traveling in got derailed...big time. Apparently, the Cheyenne had dug some sort of pit in the path of the train tracks, and the subsequent scene was not pretty. With tensions between the two sides already running high, the proverbial shit finally hit the fan as Durant finally decided that his cup runneth over, and not in a good way.

It was around this time, that The Brothers Gruff (Cullen & Elam) made their dynamic entrance at the crash site. The Swede (also the president of the "I Hate Bohannan" club) finally decided to be uncool for once in his life and made the mistake of pointing his weapon at Cullen. Well, he almost did.
For the first time in season one, The Swede got all his swedeness whipped out of him (as it turns out, he's Norwegian) by a seriously pissed Cullen, as a flabbergasted Lily and Durant looked on. However, Durant didn't seem to give a crap about The Swede as he still asked Cullen to be his personal assassin and kill the rogue Cheyenne responsible for this derailment. If memory serves me right, all this happened in about 5 minutes.

In case you were wondering, Lily gave Durant the bean after his proposal in the previous episode. We all knew she would. Durant subsequently behaved like a toddler with a full diaper and told her to go take a hike, (which she was in the process of doing anyway). I'm a little confused as to what her role is from now on. Now that she's living groundside amongst the best and the smelliest, I imagine she will have many more 'run-ins' with Cullen.

The hunting party (so to speak) employed to take down the rogue Cheyenne was a unique one. I was disappointed they kept us hanging for another week when they got ambushed, but what transpired before that was interesting. Joseph seemed to be caught in two minds, neither of which wants his tribe to come to any harm. The train massacre being what it was, a peaceful solution seems more than a stretch, and Joseph knows that. The purpose for his involvement is sketchy and I'd like to know more about it.

Meanwhile, the backlash of the train incident finally got to Reverend Cole as he did his Edward Nigma impression, and finally decided that God had left Hell On Wheels and moved on to a friendlier, less fuzzier settlement. His loopiness made him overlook a seriously tender moment between Joseph and the Reverend's daughter, Ruth.

The last week of television in 2011 reeked of desperation, so I can wholeheartedly say 2012 has got off to a pretty decent start! The comparisons to Deadwood notwithstanding, I can comfortably see Hell On Wheels carve out a niche for itself on Sunday nights. I think it already has!


- I'm sorry, but Elam looked like a complete doofus brandishing his weapon ( both of...never mind) in front of Eva. Not to mention the creepiest smile of 2012. Now he has two facial expressions in eight episodes.
- 2012 is the year of TV badasses. Cullen Bohannan just made it to number two on my list, after John Reese.
- Even though he got his ass handed to him last night, The Swede is still awesome!!
- How many rogue Cheyenne is Cullen going to kill next week?? I'm guessing five. What's your guess??

Hell On Wheels got renewed for season two last week. How cool is AMC??

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Television Shows That Never Should Have Been Canceled - A Tribute (Part One)

With 2012 just around the corner, one can't help but look back and reflect on what this past year has given us in terms of the best and the worst that television has to offer. Since primetime television has come to an effective standstill because of the holidays, I found myself reminiscing about the TV shows that were never really given a fair chance to flex their muscles and show us what they really had to offer. The advent of reality shows (whom I consider to be the scum of television) has seriously deprived genuinely promising TV shows the opportunity to garner a bigger audience. And without the numbers to show for it, shows that deserve a second chance don't usually get one.

Screw the networks. They may have dropped these shows in the meanest way possible, but let us give them the proper accolades they so richly deserve.

I would actually like to go a step further and mention some of the shows that were canceled before 2011, because they deserve to be mentioned AND remembered.


I loved this show! It was the perfect blend of action and comedy to keep me interested for an hour. The stories were engaging, the action scenes were fantastic, the dialogue was witty & clean-cut, and the cast was simply brilliant.
Mark Valley as Christopher Chance put his best foot forward in this role. After his seriously lame stint as Brad Chase in Boston Legal, I was happy to finally see him in a show that gave him enough space to shine. Chi McBride as Winston and Jackie Earle Haley as Guerrero provided serious backup both in terms of action and entertainment. Guerrero in particular, had some really hilarious moments that I sorely miss.

Season two added two new characters to the mix (Ilsa Pucci & Ames) that actually added another element to the show that I didn't think it missed! You would think that this combination would work, and I personally thought the series was going in an interesting direction when wouldn't you know it, the hell hounds from FOX decided to cancel it. The action/adventure genre is a dying one and this cancellation didn't help.
So where's Mark Valley now?? Pretty much where he was before Human Target, in a douchey role in another douchey David E. Kelly show where he plays the exact same character.
Mark!! If you're reading this (fat chance. Ha!), you got screwed big time, bro. You're talents are being wasted on Harry's Law. Get the hell out of there!


After The Shield, I was eagerly waiting for Shawn Ryan to deliver another series that would make me not dislike cop shows again. The Chicago Code got me hooked from episode one. The fact that it got dropped by FOX after a single thirteen episode season had me breathing fire for a week.
Jason Clarke is one of those underrated actors who deserves his own show. This was finally a role he could sink his teeth into, and he was doing it with absolute magnificence. Jennifer Beals' strong presence was an added bonus in itself, but to top it all off with Delroy Lindo as Alderman Gibbons? What could go wrong, right?

The show was a realistic interpretation of the politics and the power struggle between City Hall and the Chicago Police Department. It possessed Shawn Ryan's inimitable style coupled with brilliant work from both sides of the camera.
So what the hell happened?? Ask FOX Entertainment Chairman Peter Rice. He's the only guy (that we know about) who knows the answer. And although the show wrapped things up nicely in the series finale, another promising show got kicked in the nuts for no logical reason.


This was without a doubt the MOST MASSIVE SCREW-UP in the history of the FOX network. Joss Whedon's space/western masterpiece was arguably the best show ever to be canceled too soon. The sci-fi genre lost its most precious jewel the day the FOX execs made this blunder of galactic proportions.
Whether it was the cast, the action, the visual effects or the environment in general, Firefly made me a resident browncoat for life.

It was absolutely despicable what the network did to this show. Although the actors involved have moved on and carved separate roles for themselves in different shows (though none of them will ever be as good), this half-assed butchery by FOX made me boycott the network for a couple of years. And make no mistake, every time someone mentions Firefly in my presence, I imagine a representative of the FOX network spitting teeth. I have been appeased a little since then after Nathan Fillion re-entered primetime TV on Castle.
But seriously, who would you rather watch?? Richard Castle or Malcolm Reynolds?

So what does FOX ( aka The American Idol Network) have to offer now on its current primetime lineup?
Except for Fringe (which might be canceled too by the way, wtf?) and House, the lineup represents a list of shows that uniformly suck. I have a special place in my garbage disposal for Glee.
So here's the bottom line.

All eyes are on you, FOX! Except mine.
I have a finger pointed in your direction. Wanna guess which one?

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Person Of Interest - Ten Reasons Why John Reese Is Better Than Batman

Ever since the coolest mid-season finale of 2011, I've been waiting like an obsessed maniac for 2012, not just because it's a New Year (yippee!) but because I am eagerly awaiting the next episode of Person Of Interest with twitchy fingers and bated breath.

Those of you who've seen all ten episodes of season one will undoubtedly agree that after a promising start, POI has suddenly bludgeoned its way to the top of many DVR lists. It's initial reputation as a case-of-the-week procedural has been overshadowed by multiple juicy plot lines that simply came out of nowhere! This is my personal favorite show of 2011. No surprise, since any show with J.J. Abrams and Jonathan Nolan at the helm was bound to be TV gold.

This year has introduced us to some very interesting characters on Primetime television, but the dynamic duo of John Reese and Harold Finch is arguably one of the best. I don't have enough adjectives in my vocabulary to describe just how awesome these two characters (and actors) have made this show.
Over the course of two months, we have seen John Reese do some seriously kickass stuff. One can't help but compare his recent accomplishments to those of the original dark knight.

So is John Reese based on Batman?? Jonathan Nolan was one of the brains behind director and big bro Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight and the soon to be released The Dark Knight Rises. Was his inspiration behind POI entrenched in his previous experience researching Batman? If it was, he couldn't have chosen a better template to introduce us to this truly amazing character. And although many of you might disagree, I personally believe that Nolan has created an idea (and an individual) capable of exceeding the inspiration behind it!

The title of this post obviously caught your eye, so I'm going to stop rambling and get right down to it!
I hereby present ten reasons why John Reese is better than Batman:

1. In the Pilot episode, the Rip Van Winkle version of Reese beat up a bunch of bratty gangster wannabees in a subway train, and then the new and improved version came back and shot the same dudes each in their respective thighs. Batman could probably do the same thing, but he refuses to use guns and doesn't fight during the daytime. Wuss.

2. Reese has a smooth, baritone voice. Batman (at least, the Christian Bale version), sounds like a frog in a blender.

3. Harold Finch is Reese's partner. Robin is Batman's sidekick. Benjamin Linus trumps G. Callen. Nuff said.

4. Reese has a cool motorcycle. Batman has the batmobile. Who do you think has an easier time finding a parking space??

5. Reese's police counterpart is Carter. Batman has Commissioner Gordon. Carter is way hotter than Commissioner Gordon. So is Fusco.

6. Reese makes mincemeat out of the bad guys in every episode. After over seventy years, Batman still hasn't got the Joker off his ass. Kill the guy already!

7. John Reese doesn't take credit for the things he does. Batman's kind of a media hog.

8. John Reese prevents crimes before they happen and saves lives. Batman mopes around in the bat cave until someone flashes the bat signal. Either that or he's attending parties as Bruce Wayne. Talk about being a self absorbed prick!

9. John Reese puts on a suit and swings into action. Batman has to wear his bullet-proof batsuit, put on all his gadgets, get inside the batmobile and drive all the way to Gotham City from his mansion. It's an automatic head start for the bad guys. Besides Reese doesn't even wear a vest. Now that's confidence!

10. John Reese has an arsenal of sub-machine guns, assault rifles and grenade launchers. Batman has a few batarangs, the bathook, a grapple gun, and if memory serves me right, a bat-taser. Tee hee! Cute.

Stop shaking your fist at the monitor!
I'm bored. There was nothing to watch tonight. Gimme a break.