This episode was basically a televised scrapbook of ideas pieced together with bits of string, the end result being a complete mess from which it is very difficult to become disentangled. As I'm writing this, I have no clue where to begin. Give me a minute.
This is what happened within a span of forty minutes (Spoilers)
- We were introduced to Elizabeth Short aka Black Dahlia (played by Mena Suvari). We saw her get raped, murdered (sort of), chopped up and dumped. That was 64 years ago.
- Constance fought with her boy toy, found out that Tate raped Vivien, confronted Tate, then mommy-slapped him for being such a disappointment.
- Constance fought with her boy toy, found out that Tate raped Vivien, confronted Tate, then mommy-slapped him for being such a disappointment.
- We saw Hayden have sex with Constance's boy toy...twice. Then she stabbed him repeatedly (thus rendering him dead) and enlisted crazy Larry's help to dump his chopped up pieces into a spot away from horror house (still trying to come up with a better name for the place).
- We saw young Moira flirt with Ben. Then she flirted some more. Then she made out with the ghost of Elizabeth Short (who came to Ben for advice and treatment. Don't ask).
- Vivien's doctor informed Ben that one of Vivien's twins has a different father (you heard me), Ben got pissed, visited Vivien and expressed his displeasure by growling at the back of her neck.
- Hayden tried to seduce Ben again, failed, then hinted that security guy Luke might be the father of twin number 2, Ben got pissed for a second time, confronted Luke who told him that he never slept with Vivien and even if he did, he's shooting blanks anyway, so screw you, and he walked away.
- Constance chatted with medium lady who revealed that when a ghost has sex with a non-ghost like Vivien, the resulting offspring could bring about the end of the world.
Whew! Glad to get that out of my system. So did the story really go forward? I honestly don't know.
The most significant developments in my opinion were
- Ben realizing that Vivien was raped and
- Ben catching his first glimpse of the real Moira.
So is this the push Ben needs to realize that the house is haunted? Who are we kidding? Of course not. Hayden is walking around the house like she owns the place. And despite getting walloped in the head, and still coming back without a scratch, Ben doesn't suspect she's a ghost.
Ever squished a cockroach with your boot, or a book? You know that if you lift your boot (or your book), the resulting sight will not be a pretty one. Yet try as you might, you WILL be curious and you WILL see what's underneath, and yes it will be gross.
American Horror Story is that cockroach. And I will lift my boot every week to see what's underneath, no matter how sick it's going to make me feel afterwards.
Tidbits
- No Violet in this episode. So on the bright side, things could have been worse.
- This episode did not help me with my fear of dentists.
- Are the Harmons having an open house? It seems anyone can go anyplace and have sex anywhere.
- I have a monster crush on Young Moira (Alexandra Breckenridge). So this was my best AHS episode ever.
Noodles. I sense an attack of word salad coming on. Logging off.
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